We all know someone who’s negative all the time, and yes – I mean all the time. This person usually sees the glass half empty and insists that he/she is just a hard-edged realist. According to the experts, there are a couple different types of draining energies but all of them stream from one core value – negativity.
Drain Types – Nobody is completely innocent of negativity and that’s a fact. Yes, we all complain from time to time without even realizing it. It’s pretty much a part of our culture nowadays. The famous Dr. Robin Kowalski professor of psychology at Clemson University explains that everyone complains, at some point, at least a little.
Dr. Kowalski mentioned that there are a few varieties when it comes to complainers. I’m sure you can stick a face to each different category.
- Vent-ers:vent-ers are people who are very displeased and they don’t want to hear solutions, no matter how helpful they may be.
- Sympathy Seekers:well, you probably already know the type. Sympathy seekers are the ones that are always looking for attention with their “I’ve got it worse than you do” attitude or their constant and everything sucks demeanor.
- Chronic Complainers:chronic complainers (we all hate them, right?) are people who are living in a state of complaint, do something researchers call “ruminating.” This basically means thinking and complaining about a problem again and again. Instead of feeling a release after complaining, this sort of complaining can actually make things worse. It can cause even more worry and anxiety.
And people, don’t get me wrong – I’m not suggesting you give up all your bad habits and try to be a squeaky clean free-flying positive ninny. No, I’m not even close. The experts say that bouts of negativity are normal and encouraged to reset our systems. What you want to be mindful of, is if you are being excessively negative. And, now you probably ask yourself – why? Well, we can answer that question for you – because negativity breeds negativity. And, unfortunately, most of us may have been unintentionally reinforcing the nasty habit of complaining, by virtue of… well, you already know the answer – complaining.
Negativity Rewires Your Brain:
The famous neuropsychologist, Dr. Donald Hebb, thinks that neurons which fire together, wire together. What he meant by that is that groups of neurons connect in our brain as a result of particular life experiences. You can take this for example – whenever we think a thought or have a feeling or physical sensation, thousands of neurons are triggered and they all get together to form a neural network. The brain learns to trigger the same neurons with repetitive thinking. Well, let me say this in the simplest way possible – ladies and gentlemen, if you keep your mind focused on criticism, worry, and victimization, your mind will find it more easy to bring up those same thoughts for similar situations. Our thought patterns wire our brains to react positively or negatively to the situations we are presented. We get good at what we practice, so why don’t we try being a little more positive?
Four tricks to avoid negativity:
- You should always be grateful, even for the smallest of things.
- You should catch yourself. This means that you should catch yourself in a complaint. And yes, do the world a favor – stop complaining. Congratulate yourself for being aware!
- You should make a new groove! Well, ladies and gentlemen, this means that we can create a brand-new groove for pleasant feelings. And, remember this – the more often we allow our minds to remember the good stuff, the easier that kind of thinking becomes.
- And, last word of advice – you should always practice wise effort. Well, wise effort is letting go of that which is not helpful and cultivating that which is skillful.